I knew it was bound to happen eventually. I would be faced with a shopping trip or a Girl’s Day Out and I would have to go and “test my metal”.
Well guess what – the day came and went and I passed that test with flying colors! Here’s the backstory: I went down to Nashville to spend the weekend with my best friend, Amy. Anyone who knows Amy knows that if shopping were an Olympic event she’d be on the metal podium every week. Not that Amy spends thousands of dollars on clothes, she’s just a really savvy shopper and doesn’t mind going to 17 stores to find the perfect pair of brown ankle boots. This was my first trip to visit her since beginning this year long challenge and I didn’t want to skip the shopping part of our typical weekend. Amy really does know the best stores in the trendiest parts of any city. So we headed to the trendy neighborhood of Franklin for a day of shopping and talking. And y’all would have been so proud of me! I went into cute store after cute store and didn’t even LOOK at the clothing! I’m not saying it wasn’t a challenge, but I did it! By the end of the day I had bought a coffee cup for my sister and some spices for myself. That’s it! I can’t begin to even describe how pleased I was with myself and how good it felt to not have “shopper’s guilt”. As an added bonus Amy gave me a couple of her scarves she’s no longer wearing. Score! She asked me, “Am I allowed to still give you clothes?” I reminded her that the blog was called My Year of Hand Me Downs, so used clothing was perfectly ok (and appreciated). When I got home I paired that light brown scarf with a grey dressier sweatshirt and it looked adorable! So far this year I’ve added 3 scarves and a blouse to my wardrobe and I haven’t spent one penny! I love that I don’t feel guilty or wasteful about my closet anymore. Now when I go to my closet I feel creative and challenged to put together a new look out of what I already own. So this week I thought it would be fun to challenge everyone to do their own “clothing swap”. Exchange a couple of pieces with a sister or a friend. I do that with my twin sister all the time and it’s a win-win for both of us! And as always, I’d LOVE to see some of those outfits you’re putting together! Please post a comment and let me know what you swapped and how you used your “new to you” item.
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Cole Porter wasn’t talking about fashion when he came up with the title of his 1934 Broadway musical, but he might as well have been because now-a-days, it seems like Anything Goes.
I was talking to my twin sister the other day and we came to the conclusion that today’s fashion trends seem to be “there are no fashion trends." Have you noticed this too? Everywhere I look, everyone seems to wear whatever the heck they want. As long as they feel comfortable in it and it reflects who they are, it’s IN. So if there are NO fashion trends and anything really does go, then I guess the only accessory you really need is confidence--confidence to trust your true personal style and to wear the clothes that make you happy. If you think I might be wrong in this conclusion just look around you. At the office, at school, on TV--eclectic personal style has become the norm. You and I might not care for what someone else is wearing (because it doesn’t suit our own personal style) but that doesn’t matter. What they have on is THEIR style and that’s all that counts. America has always been an individualistic society, which means we are a culture that is oriented around the self, independent instead of identifying with a group mentality (thanks Wikipedia). Don’t take that as an insult, because it’s not, and we’re not the only country to be labeled this way. Most of Western Europe is also classified as an individualist culture. So what does that have to do with style, fashion, and not buying new clothes? It means that we don’t have to be driven by TV, fashion magazines, and department stores to buy new clothing every month just to define WHO we are and to “fit in." We’re Americans-- we don’t want to fit in! And that’s how they try to sell clothing to us--be unique and stand out by buying this t-shirt that 100,000 other people are going to buy too! That’s not individualism. That’s what is known as a herd mentality. You’re an individual, your style is your own. You don’t have to buy into trends and seasonal fashion to feel and look good. You already have what you need buried in your closet. Pull out your oldies but goodies and the items you tend to wear over and over. There’s a reason they are still in there and why you go for them so often. It’s because they represent you and YOUR individual style. So here’s what I want you do to this week--go to your closet and put together one Anything Goes outfit, something a bit different but that makes you smile and represents YOU. Don’t go look at your Pinterest clothing board for inspiration and don’t pay attention to a certain fashion blogger who said red is the “it” color right now, or that chucky accessories are a “must have." What do they know of your individualistic style? Isn’t that what this year is all about anyways? Not adding to the chaos of our existing wardrobes and learning to use what we already have in new and fun ways? Can’t wait to hear how it goes and, please, feel free to post a photo comment of your Anything Goes outfit! I’ve never been more critical of my clothing then I have been in the last two months. I know it’s because I’m not adding new pieces and I’m trying to rediscover old pieces. Just this morning I pulled a sweater out of the bottom drawer (you know, that drawer that you NEVER dress out of) and I examined and reexamined it.
I know I hadn’t wore it in almost two years but I never felt the need to get rid of it and as I stood there looking at it I thought, “This would go really well with these black slacks”. And just like that something old had become new. Mind blown. Seriously, I don’t think I would have ever worn that sweater again if I had not started this challenge. Normally when I get bored with my clothing I just go out and buy something new, but that can’t happen now. What is a girl to do? She moves on to Plan B. Plan B is taking a rarely worn item and wearing it a new and completely different way. And at this very moment I’m sitting at my desk wearing Plan B (the bottom drawer sweater) with my black slacks. You know what – it looks really nice too. Now I’m thinking of all those other “bottom drawer” items and if they really should be pitched cause I haven’t worn them in a year or if they were just waiting for me to change my point of view. Suddenly my wardrobe just got a bit larger. It’s kind of freeing knowing that everything in my closet is fair game. I’m looking at each piece of clothing and asking myself, “Why did I stop wearing this?” Was it out of style? Did it shrink? Did I become bored with it? We’re just like our kids who stop playing with a toy because it’s not new anymore. Don’t you hate when your kids do that?! We look at this perfectly good toy and think “What a waste of money!” It’s funny because as soon as another kid comes over and starts playing with that same toy – BOOM – your kid wants it again. So I guess my advice for this week is to pull out some of those old “toys” and try them with something completely different. If you’ve always worn that sweater with jeans, try it with a skirt and boots. Take that blouse and pair it with skinny jeans and flats. Go crazy. Who knows what will spark your creativity and help you find your true style. Yesterday I had a head on collision with reality. I can’t buy a purse this year. Did you know the average woman owns 11 purses? When I read that my first thought was, “Only 11?” I finally purged a lot of my purses last year when I moved and I still own ten myself. Buy why did I hold on to those ten? Why am I so emotionally attached to these purses? And why do I feel like getting rid of them will be the hardest part of this year? Everyone who knows me knows I only carry Kate Spade’s purses – it’s my ONE splurge in life. I buy myself one new Kate Spade purse every year and to justify this I TRY to buy it during the yearly 75% off sale. Guess what happened yesterday…yup…the BIG sale. The notice pops up in my email and my heart skipped a beat! I immediately logged in and started browsing for my yearly splurge. I was half way through the pages when it hits me – this is shopping – I CAN’T do this – I CAN’T buy a purse. No lying, I was sad. I closed the website and put my phone down. No splurge this year. Sigh. That disappointed feeling stuck with me all morning too. Later that day I sat at my desk and looked over at my current Kate Spade and thought, “Well I guess I could just pull one of my old ones out of the closet, I have at least 7 to pick from.” Wait – I have 7 Kate Spades in my closet?! Why?! It was at that moment I realized that after a year carrying a purse, I NEVER carry them again. I don’t sell them, I don’t give them away, I don’t do anything with them. They just sit there, inside their dust bags, all lined up like really expensive purse headstones. That’s what I’ve created, a purse graveyard. If this year of self-growth is going to mean anything I NEED to get these purses out of the “purse retirement home” and give them away! I instantly called my sister to tell her and her first response was, “Finally! I call first dibs!” And just like a mother watching her first child head off to college, I’m excited to see them go. I’ve given them a good home and now they can make someone else as happy as they have made me. I’ve decided that I’m going to keep 4 of my purses. I’m going to keep my current Kate Spade, it’s large and great for everyday use. I’ll also keep my small cross body Kate Spade since I think it’ll be great for vacations and trips and it is a lot lighter than my big bag. I’m also going to keep my red patent leather Kate Spade wristlet, it’s great for nights out and dressing up. The last purse is a handmade green leather cross body that I picked up in Italy. It was actually altered just for me while I waited and I had the loveliest conversation with the artisan. I mean…hello…Italian leather and made for me by an attractive Italian man? Yeah, I’m keeping this one. So maybe owning 4 handbags isn’t exactly the minimalist way, but it feels right for me. It’s less then what I had before and it’s a step in the right direction. And that’s what this year is all about - forward progress. Moving towards a minimalist lifestyle is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. I didn’t accumulate all this stuff overnight and it’s going to take time to get rid of it all. I’m going to take pride in every step (no matter how small) towards that goal. I’ve discovered that I like giving you your own challenge at the end of each of these posts. So here’s what I have for you this week. Go count your purses and if you find yourself surprised at the number, then give some of them away. Be tough on yourself too! With each one you pick up ask yourself these two questions: “Will I ever carry this purse again?” and “Who else could benefit if I give it away?” Next, snap a photo of the ONE purse you could live without and post it in a comment. I’d love to see what everyone got rid of! The first month of this year long challenge is done and I feel REALLY good about how I’m doing. I haven’t bought ONE SINGLE piece of clothing! That might not seem like a big deal to everyone but this the longest I’ve gone without buying clothes since becoming an adult.
And let me just say this – not buying clothes has been freeing. Really! I don’t waste time in stores anymore, I don’t worry about what I “need to buy to complete this outfit”, and I don’t have ANY shoppers’ guilt. And I’m sure we can all use less guilt in our lives! I’ve started to get creative with my outfits too. I look through my drawers for hidden treasures and come up with new ways to use them. I have worn my black scarf three times this month with three different outfits AND I wore it three different ways! (Thank you YouTube for teaching me how to wear my scarf.) But not buying clothes hasn’t been the main activity of my life this month. I mean, it’s easy to NOT do something. What’s really difficult is making a change in your life that requires you to actually DO something. So not only am I NOT buying clothes, I am actively decluttering my life of stuff. I’ve been reading a lot of articles on the Minimalist lifestyle and it’s been eye opening. One great online resource is www.becomingminimalist.com. The writer, Joshua Becker, made this really good point – Owning less is great. Wanting less is better. How does a person do that? How do you not only own less but WANT less? I think the “wanting less” comes with time and I’m determined to put the time in. Here’s how Joshua explains it: Because I don’t want to own more than I already have, I am freed from the constant comparing of my stuff to others. I am no longer bound to the incessant pursuit of more money and more stuff. I have found contentment in the things that I own. I have discovered more room for generosity. And I have begun to bend my pursuits towards things that matter. So owning less and wanting less leads to all of that?! Sign me up! An added bonus to writing this blog and moderating a decluttering group on Facebook has been meeting people who also feel this need to simplify and a desire to “bend our pursuits towards things that matter”. It’s refreshing to know that there are other people out there who don’t believe “Bigger is better” and “Whoever dies with the most toys win”. Maybe the question we need to be asking ourselves is if “you can’t take it with you” then why don’t we get rid of it now? There’s a side effect to not buying any new clothes – you lose weight. How is this possible? Is it cause and effect? Is it magic? Is the universe rewarding me?
No. Simply put you lose weight because you have this epiphany, “I can’t gain weight because I can’t buy different sizes.” Ok so maybe I don’t have the science to back this hypothesis up, but it’s what has started happing to me. I put on a pair of jeans I haven’t worn in a while (cause remember I need to start wearing ALL of my wardrobe) and they were tight. And not just slightly tight but more like “Oh Dear Lord I Am In Pain” tight. And then it occurs to, “I need to wear these jeans for the next year!” Dang. That’s how it happened. I made myself wear those jeans the whole day and it was a painful reminder of my commitment to not buying clothes this year (and a reminder of how lazy I’ve been with food lately). But isn’t this something we ALL do? Raise your hand if you have more than 3 sizes in your closet right now. Have you started to add a 4th size in there as well? I don’t know about you but I REFUSE to do that anymore! I’m NOT buying any new clothes this year and I’m NOT buying a larger size again! Say this with me, “I will wear the clothes I have and if they get snug, I will skip the donut for breakfast!” I don’t say all this to make you feel about yourself (or to make me feel bad about myself), I’m saying it because it’s something we’ve all been “trained” to do. If it doesn’t fit, then go get a bigger size. Easy. But what size are we now and what size to do we buy? The clothing industry has gone SO crazy with vanity sizing that we don’t even know what size we truly are anymore. Here are some cold hard facts for you: A size 8 dress today is nearly the equivalent of a size 16 dress in 1958. And a size 8 dress of 1958 doesn't even have a modern-day equivalent — the waist and bust measurements of a Mad Men-era 8 come in smaller than today's size 00. There is NO industry standard today and manufactures define sizes as they see fit. (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/08/11/the-absurdity-of-womens-clothing-sizes-in-one-chart/?utm_term=.3ea58b2df963) While Americans are getting bigger or clothing sizes are getting smaller. Does this make any sense??? I know there are several of you who have decided to take this year off from buying new clothes as well and I’m curious if you have come to this weight/size conclusion yet. If you have, let me know. I’d love to hear if you’re diet has been effected by your buying restrictions. On a side note: I’ve worn those jeans 3 times now and they have been a little less tight each time. I feel like this has been a HUGE win for me and I’m excited to see what other pieces of my wardrobe I’ll be fitting into by the end of the year. I’m assuming most of you are just like me – normal. We don’t shop ‘high-fashion’ and the closest we’ve been to a fashion show is when we watch Project Runway. And since I’m not buying the latest trends from Paris it’s always been difficult for me to state “this is my style”.
So what IS my style? Is clearance a style? I was reading a really interesting blog recently about creating a capsule wardrobe and I could relate to much of what the writer was talking about. I don’t shop out of NEED, I shop so I can get a mood boost. I shop when I’m bummed or sad and new clothes make me feel better. But for how long? How many times have we passed over our recent wardrobe additions and decide to wear a long time favorite instead? I know I do it. Like today, I’m wearing a sweater that I have owned for 5 years. I love this sweater. It’s comfortable, fits great and it’s a classic look. So why do we keep adding cheap emotional pieces to our closets? I love the way this writer puts it: “Hard day at work? Shopping! Not feeling very pretty today? Shopping! Frustrated with my family? Shopping! No wonder my closet didn’t make any sense. It reflected my emotional stress, not my style.” (http://www.un-fancy.com) Her theory is (and it’s the theory of most people who have capsule wardrobes) is that when you narrow down your closet to just 37 pieces, you will filter out the “filler items” and what you’re left with will be YOUR style. My style?! You mean it’s been trapped in my closet this whole time?! Now I’m excited! Now I can’t wait to go through everything I own and find the 30+ items that I LOVE and that make up MY STYLE! That's what I'm doing this weekend and I'll make sure to post photos - so check back! I don’t know if I’m quite ready to give up on the rest of my closet since I’m not buying any new clothes this year, but I believe filtering out items now will keep me motivated and will help me rediscover some of the lost treasures hiding in my closet. So here’s my challenge to you this week – go to your closet and pick out your 30+ items. It’s ok if you’re not ready to make the 3 month commitment, but still pull those items out and hang them together in your closet. Try dressing from those items as much as possible over the next few months and let me know how it went! If nothing else we'll be one step closer to discovering our "style”. Let me state again that I am NOT a shopaholic. (I’m sure my sister just busted out laughing when she read that and is thinking, “The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.”) Yes, I DO like to shop but I don’t break out into cold sweats if I’m unable to shop. But shopping does make me happy and cheers me up when I’m sad. Hmmm….
Oh God, I do have a problem. One of my ‘happy places’ has always been Marshall’s and TJ Maxx. There’s no department I won’t go to and browse when I go there. I think it’s safe to say that 50% of closest has come from those two department stores. And I knew it would be a REAL challenge to shop there and completely avoid the clothing section. Does that mean I have to give up those two stores for the entire year?! Surely I’m stronger then that! I don’t want to give up my happy place! Well, this last Sunday I needed spice jars. Why? Because my boyfriend freaked out when I cleaned out the pantry and threw out half of his Indian spices. Let me just say that I was COMPLETELY justified! They were all open, messy, and expired! Sorry, but I can’t live that way. I told him that he could keep every Indian spice under the sun if they were kept in nice spice jars, and I would even go get him some. He agreed to the compromise and a few hours later I found myself in the parking lot of the TJ Maxx near my house. I’m going to be real honest here and let y’all know that I was feeling real concern as I walked into the store. I don’t think I’ve EVER walked out of that place without some sort of clothing in my bag. My game plan for this trip was to not even look at the clothes or shoes. I would just put on my ‘mental blinders’ and head straight for the kitchen wares in the back…no side trips! I figured if I didn’t even look at the clothes I wouldn’t be tempted. And…it worked. J I went to the kitchen wares, found six really nice spice jars and headed to the checkout. I will admit that, like Lot’s wife, I did turn back and gaze at the racks while I was standing in line. Ugly – Don’t Need – Not My Size – Too Expensive…these are the titles I gave to the clothes I could see and strangely enough, it worked. I felt really proud of myself as I walked to my car with my six spice jars. I didn’t impulse buy and I had no buyer’s remorse, and those are two items I always have when I leave that store. I usually walk to my car and start justifying the items I have in my bag. Really! I do that EVER single time! I have found a great piece of advice on what to do if you cave to a moment of weakness and find yourself impulse buying. It’s called “If you slip, Save the slip.” If You Slip, Save the Slip: If you buy something you didn't plan to buy, make sure you hang on to your sales receipts. Often, impulse purchases lead to buyer's remorse. http://www.aarp.org/money/budgeting-saving/info-10-2010/savings_challenge_tips_for_impulse_shopping.html (check out the full article here) Save that receipt! Hang that new dress/sweater/shirt up for at least a week (or two) and see if you’re still in love with it at a later date. If the love is gone, then return it! I promise that the buyer’s remorse will be gone and you’ll feel better about your decision. And isn’t that what we’re doing here? Working on making better decisions? Let me leave you with bit of advice if you start to feel overwhelmed and think “I can’t make a yearlong commitment like this!” Just keep reminding yourself that your life is not going to change with one BIG decision at the beginning of every year. Your life is going to change by the thousands of LITTLE decisions we make every day, every week, and every month. You might slip and not get all those little decisions right, but there are plenty more coming and “you’ll do better next time”. We lock eyes from across a crowded floor. My heart beats faster, I start to smile involuntarily. I make myself walk forward in a normal pace. “Don’t trip.” I say in my head. I’m there, I reach my hand out and gently grasp the hanger. I lift the black ruffled skirt from the rack and think, “LOVE! I have to have this!”
Fast forward three years. It’s New Year’s Eve 2016 and I’m trying to decide what to wear to the big party. I pull out my dresses one by one. Too small, too big, too plain, too skimpy, too fancy, etc. I pick three to try on, one of which I have never worn before. I hold a little fashion show for my boyfriend and he picks his favorite dress (not the one I would have picked – typical). I’m happy with the choice and I start packing up my overnight bag. I step back into my closet and go to hang up my runner up outfits. Something ruffled and black catches my eye. I smile involuntarily. I take the party skirt from the closet rack and remember buying it three years ago, and then it hits me. I’ve NEVER worn it. Never, not once. This skirt that made me feel so much REAL love in a department store that I bought it without looking at the price – I tucked away and never wore. You’re probably nodding your head up and down as you read this because you’ve done the same thing. I’m not alone in this sad story. Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. I remind myself of my goal for 2017 and decide ‘What better way to ring in this new year of change then by wearing this skirt. It’s time to start making use of EVERYTHING in my closet. I pull the skirt from the closet and pack it in my bag. Dinesh and I get to our room and start getting ready for the big night ahead. I walk out in my skirt and gold sequined top (not the outfit he had picked out just an hour ago) and he smiles. He says I look great and wants to know where that skirt came from because he’s never seen it. I tell him it’s a long lost treasure from my closet. I know “treasure” might seem like a strange word for a piece of clothing, but I paid a lot of money for that skirt, so it was a treasure to find...again. And I’m not the only person who has lost treasure in their closet - you ALL do! A survey conducted by VoucherCloud in 2014 found that the average woman has $550 of unworn clothing in her closet. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/28/unworn-clothing-survey_n_5048486.html) Go ahead, I know you’re doing a mental check of what’s in your closet right now because you’re thinking there’s no way YOU have that much unworn clothing. Go look, I dear you. Did you go look? It’s ok, no need to be upset with yourself. We ALL do it! Here’s some excellent advice from Jamie Feldman from the Huffington Post on how to avoid that kind of behavior in the future. Next time you want to set out on a big shopping trip, take an inventory of the things you already have. Try and figure out what you actually need, and if there is anything in there that can be returned, given to friends or donated. That will give you an excuse to not only play around with the pieces in your wardrobe you may have forgotten about, but might even make you feel better about the purchases you do end up making. I feel really good about the outfit I wore to the big New Year’s Eve party, not only because it looked cute, but because it was a step in the right direction. I know the slogan on January 1st has always been “Out with old, in with the new”, but I think in 2017 it should be “Make use of the old, and it will feel like new”. Happy New Year! Here we are – day one of 2017 and I’m excited to see what this year has in store. Like most people, I’m confident and hopeful that I can keep all the resolutions I’ve made. I mean - who messes up resolutions on day 1? Not me! (But I almost did.)
It’s true – I almost bought a sweater today! What’s wrong with me?! Let me explain what happened. I ran to the grocery store to pick up just a couple things and as I was walking down the Christmas clearance isle (hello – everything is 75% off right now) I spot a super cute and funny ugly Christmas sweater. I can totally wear that to the office next Christmas! I stop and look at the price (I love clearance tags), check out the size and hold two sweaters up beside each other to decide which one I like better. And then BAM it hits me! THIS is clothing…you’re buying NEW clothing. Ugh, my heart sinks. No worries my friends, I put both sweaters back and made a bee line for the self-checkout. Whew, catastrophe adverted! But this near shopping hick-up really hammered home the truth that buying clothes is so second nature that I even do it in the grocery store. The GROCERY store! Good Lord, who buys clothes at the grocery store?! I knew I was going to write a blog today since it’s the first day of My Year of Hand Me Downs challenge, but I did not expect to have a near set back to write about. Yes, I do feel “irked” at myself, but I also feel worried. What if I have bitten off more than I can chew? As I was leaving the grocery store 2017 started to feel like it was going to be a long year...a very long year. As soon as I got home I knew I needed to make some changes. I decided to delete some shopping apps from my phone. Good buy Amazon and Wish apps. Oh, I’ll still use Amazon but having it on my phone makes it SO easy to shop while standing in line or while I’m sitting in a waiting room. My last new top was purchased using my phone while I was waiting for my latte at Starbucks. It's just too easy! I also unsubscribed to 10 store email lists. Got to be honest here – it wasn’t easy unsubscribing. My first thought was “how will I hear about sales and special discount codes?”. Omg, I LOVE discount codes. As I sit here and write this I’m still wondering what amazing discount codes I’m missing out on. Sad, so sad. So there you have it. The journey begins. I admit it was a bumpier start then I expected, but at least I'm heading in the right direction. Day 1: New clothing purchased - 0 |
AuthorMy name is Misty Day (yeah, that really is my name) and I'm a normal every day person. I'm a twin, I work as an analyst, I take my daughter to Girl Scouts and swim team, I play bass guitar in a band, I love food and wine, I like new clothes, and I'm trying to be a better person. Archives
December 2017
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